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Humourous quotes Why is it that fat people are more jolly and laugh more ? Is it that we possess an ability to enjoy ourselves as we are, free from the hang-ups that thin people have about eating what they actually enjoy, instead of what will keep them thin ? Below is a collection of fat related quotes and one-liners, for fat & thin alike to laugh at . If you have a favourite quote, or one liner, that's not too vulgar or crude, send it to humour[at]outsizeclothes.com. = replace [at] with @ Quotes. - { The "He/She's so fat " humourous one liners are here} Whenever
cannibals are on the brink of starvation, Heaven, in it's infinite
mercy, I'm
already two years ahead on my daily fat allowance. I'm looking for
skinny people
I refuse to spend my life worrying about what I eat. There's no
pleasure worth foregoing just for an extra three years in the geriatric
ward. Inside every fat person there's a thin person looking to get out -- They've just eaten them - Jo Brand I am
in shape. Round is a shape Practice safe eating -- always use condiments .
My ancestors didn't spend the
last 2 million years clawing their way
to the top of the food chain, for me to become a vegetarian. Who am
I to dishonour the ultimate sacrifice made by this noble beast Why does
Sea World have a seafood restaurant? I'm halfway through my Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway Brain cells come and brain cells go, but fat cells live forever . The next time you feel like complaining, remember that your garbage disposal probably eats better than 30 percent of the people in the world. --Robert Orben Never eat more than you can lift. --Miss Piggy Part of
the secret of a success in life is to eat what you like and let
the food fight Always
take a good look at what you're about to eat. It's not so important
to Never trust a dog to watch your food. --Anonymous child on TV. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. --Mark Twain How can
you govern a country which has 246 varieties of cheese? Some say
the glass is half empty, some say the glass is half full, Cucumber
should be well sliced, dressed with pepper and vinegar, Chemically
speaking, chocolate really is the world's perfect food. There
are four basic food groups, milk chocolate, dark chocolate, white
chocolate, and chocolate truffles. Did you
ever notice they never take any fat hostages? You never see a guy
coming out of Lebanon going: I was held hostage for seven months
and I lost 175 pounds, I feel good and I look good and I learned
self-discipline. That's the important thing." Other things are just food. But chocolate's chocolate. --Patrick Skene Catling Chocolate
is a perfect food, as wholesome as it is delicious, a beneficent
restorer of exhausted power. it is the best friend of those engaged
in literary pursuits. If a lump
of soot falls into the soup and you cannot conveniently get it out,
stir it well in and it will give the soup a French taste. - Jonathan
Swift The most
remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served
the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been
found. - Calvin Trillin Don't wreck a sublime chocolate experience by feeling guilty. Chocolate isn't like premarital sex. It will not make you pregnant. And it always feels good. --Lora Brody Nine out of ten people like chocolate. The tenth person always lies.. --John Q. Tullius Only Irish coffee provides in a single glass all four essential food groups: alcohol, caffeine, sugar and fat .- Alex Levine Chocolate
causes certain endocrine glands to secrete hormones that affect
your feelings and behavior by making you happy. Therefore, it counteracts
depression, in turn reducing the stress of depression. Your stress-free
life helps you maintain a youthful disposition, both physically
and mentally. So, eat lots of chocolate! "I like children - fried." - WC Fields. "Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds." - Joan Rivers It's not that chocolates are a substitute for love. Love is a substitute for chocolate. Chocolate is, let's face it, far more reliable than a man. --Miranda Ingram Chocolate is cheaper than therapy and you don't need an appointment. --Unknown The superiority
of chocolate, both for health and nourishment, will soon give it
the same preference over tea and coffee in America which it has
in Spain. Strength is the capacity to break a chocolate bar into four pieces with your bare hands - and then eat just one of the pieces --Judith Viorst For the chicken the egg demands involvement, but for the pig bacon demands total commitment. - John Price I'm not
a vegetarian because I love animals. I'm a vegetarian because I
hate plants. I often take exercise. Why only yesterday I had my breakfast in bed. - Oscar Wilde If one swallows a cup of chocolate only three hours after a copious lunch, everything will be perfectly digested and there will still be room for dinner. - Brillat-Savarin Las cosas
claras y el chocolate espeso. (Ideas should be clear and chocolate
thick.) Biochemically,
love is just like eating large amounts of chocolate. If you
are not feeling well, if you have not slept, chocolate will revive
you. But you have no chocolate! I think of that again and again!
My dear, how will you ever manage? What you
see before you, my friend, is the result of a lifetime of chocolate.
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